1
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[ ♪ tragic, romantic music ♪ ]

2
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- (MAN) Miss Talbot.

3
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Miss Talbot, wait!

4
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I can no longer
repress my feelings–

5
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- (WOMAN) Sir, I implore you
to hold your tongue.

6
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,355
- (MAN) You must allow me
to confess–

7
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- (WOMAN) You leave for
London tomorrow,

8
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you can have no reasonable
confessions to make.

9
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- (MAN) Then let me be
unreasonable.

10
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- Please, Mr. Dickley.

11
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You are engaged

12
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to Miss Bumblesnatch.

13
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- (DICKLEY) Have you
not heard?

14
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Miss Bumblesnatch has run
away with Sir Hangledangers.

15
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- Then you are no
longer attached.

16
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- No.

17
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Miss Talbot,

18
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from our first walk
you've captivated me,

19
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mind and spirit.

20
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My heart has been and
always will be yours.

21
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Therefore, I humbly ask...

22
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Will you...

23
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...do me the honor of...

24
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...blood.

25
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- Hm?

26
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- (DICKLEY) You're bleeding.

27
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- Oh. No.

28
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- (DICKLEY) You are hurt.

29
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- No. No, it's just- just-

30
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Just finish
what you were saying.

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- We must get you
back at once.

32
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- No, really, it's fine.

33
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[ ♪ tense, Baroque music ♪ ]

34
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[panting]

35
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- (DICKLEY) Why do you
live so far away?

36
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- (GIRL) ♪ Down by the red,
red river... ♪

37
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[distant singing continues]
[snoring]

38
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[bang!]

39
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- (DICKLEY) Help!
Come quickly!

40
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Mr. Talbot! Miss Labinia!

41
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- (LABINIA) Mr. Dickley.

42
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- (DICKLEY) Miss Labinia.

43
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- (LABINIA) What's the matter?

44
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- (FATHER) Mr. Dickley?

45
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- (DICKLEY) Mr. Talbot, I...
- (FATHER) Essy?!

46
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- (ESSY) Father...

47
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- (MRS. BITTS) Mr. James
Dickley, sir-

48
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- (DICKLEY) There is no time.

49
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We must stop the bleeding.

50
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- This way.

51
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- (GIRL) ♪ Ruby kisses
mine to greet–

52
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[door opens]

53
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- (LABINIA) On the settee.

54
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- (GIRL) What's going on?
- (LABINIA) Shush!

55
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- Mr. Dickley,
what on earth...

56
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- (GIRL) Is she alright?

57
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- Use this as a tourniquet.

58
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- Is she dying?!

59
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- I shall fetch the doctor.

60
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- (MRS. BITTS) Mr. James
Dick...ley....

61
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- My dear sister,
what has happened?

62
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- Mr. Dickley was about
to propose marriage–

63
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- Ooh!
- Yay!

64
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- (FATHER) Your mother
would be so proud.

65
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- But!

66
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I started early.

67
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- I will be in my study.

68
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- Why does Mr. Dickley
call for a doctor?

69
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- He mistakes the blood
for a wound.

70
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[GIRL giggles]

71
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- (LABINIA) Vagianna,
give us the room, please.

72
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- Papá says you
have to include me.

73
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- Go now.

74
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- I'm a woman, too.

75
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- Well, actually Vagianna,

76
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I am in desperate
need of a rag.

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- On it.

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- (LABINIA) Essy...

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perhaps we can salvage
this proposal yet.

80
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If Mr. Dickley does not
realize his mistake

81
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then when he returns,
you can tell him that you...

82
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ran into a bush

83
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with thorns,

84
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and it pierced your thigh.

85
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- A bush pierced my thigh?

86
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:38,635
- Yes, and you must
writhe in pain.

87
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- Don't be ridiculous.

88
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I will simply tell him
the truth.

89
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- Are you out of your
fucking mind?

90
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- I'm sure if I explain–

91
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- You cannot discuss it
with him!

92
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- He will certainly find the
misunderstanding

93
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:51,898
quite amusing.

94
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:53,524
- No, we can't risk it.

95
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It's best to play
the wounded lamb.

96
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In fact, perhaps we should
add more blood.

97
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- (VAGIANNA) Here are
the rags!

98
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- Forget the rags.
Fetch a chicken for slaughter.

99
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- On it!

100
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- (ESSY) No, leave the–
- (VAGIANNA) I said I’m on it!

101
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- Labinia, I love this man

102
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and I do not wish to begin
our life together with a lie.

103
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- Don't you see?

104
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There will be no life
together.

105
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James Dickley will not
marry a woman so brazen

106
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as to blather on about
her bloody bits.

107
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[door opens]

108
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[running feet]

109
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[chicken squawk]

110
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- (VAGIANNA) Women's business!

111
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- (LABINIA) Ladies don't talk
about it, and men don't ask

112
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and we've all got on fine
for centuries.

113
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- No, we haven't.

114
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Women have suffered alone
and died a lot.

115
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- The chicken!
- (LABINIA) Bring it here.

116
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- (ESSY) Labinia,
please don't kill the chicken.

117
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- It's lived a good life.

118
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- Don't you think the doctor
will see right through?

119
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[chicken cluck]

120
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- Vagianna,
stab her in the leg.

121
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- What?!

122
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- (LABINIA) You want to be
a woman,

123
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this is what it is
to be a woman.

124
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- (ESSY) Vagianna,
women don't stab women.

125
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- (LABINIA) It's for her
own good. Hurry, girl.

126
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- Labinia!

127
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- What do I do?!

128
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- Fetch me a rag!

129
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- Essy, I swear,
if you tell Mr. Dickley–

130
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- (DICKLEY) Tell me what?

131
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[chicken squawk]

132
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- (MRS. BITTS) Mr. James Dick–

133
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- (LABINIA) Yes, thank you.

134
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Back so soon?

135
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- Your neighbour, Mr. Chubley,
has sent for the doctor.

136
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- Oh, thank heavens.
- That won't be necessary.

137
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- How is she?

138
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- She is dying.
- A little irritated,

139
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but otherwise...

140
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- Sister,

141
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I would like to request

142
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a private audience
with Mr. Dickley.

143
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- Sister, I do not
think it wise

144
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given your fragile state.

145
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- Sister,

146
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it is my dying wish.

147
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- (VAGIANNA) Come here,
Snow White.

148
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,511
[violent flapping, clucking]

149
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- (VAGIANNA) Sorry.

150
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:57,565
[ ♪ suspenseful music ♪ ]

151
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:03,571
Mr. Dickley, I do not
require a physician.

152
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- Don't say that.

153
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:08,159
Just hold on
a little while longer.

154
00:06:08,242 --> 00:06:11,079
- No, you see,
I am bleeding.

155
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:12,330
- Yes, I know.

156
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,916
- From my...

157
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,334
nethers.

158
00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:22,131
Oh.

159
00:06:23,049 --> 00:06:26,427
Miss Talbot,
color me relieved.

160
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I was once kicked
by my horse.

161
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Got me right in the
intestines.

162
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I pissed blood for two weeks.

163
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Happens to the best of us.

164
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- No, it's not that.

165
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I am...

166
00:06:42,443 --> 00:06:43,945
menstruating.

167
00:06:45,154 --> 00:06:46,322
- Mens to what?

168
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,826
- Period? I got my period.

169
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,161
- (LABINIA) Father, you must
do something.

170
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She is throwing away
her future.

171
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- Perhaps not.

172
00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:58,042
Mr. Dickley is a
reasonable man

173
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and highly educated.

174
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- Blood.

175
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,383
Outside body. Good.

176
00:07:06,134 --> 00:07:08,136
- And it is not only blood.

177
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Also bits of tissue
from my uterus

178
00:07:10,721 --> 00:07:11,764
and mucus from my–

179
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- She is talking about
her cervix.

180
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:21,774
- Cer...vix?

181
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:23,693
- Yes, cer-vix.

182
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,194
- My cousin.

183
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,237
- What?

184
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,572
- My cousin,
Sir William Vicks

185
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:28,614
Has he done this to you?

186
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:30,950
- No no! No one
has done this to me.

187
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,493
It is perfectly natural.

188
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Happens to most all women.

189
00:07:34,078 --> 00:07:35,830
- Most all women?
- Yes.

190
00:07:35,913 --> 00:07:38,166
- I know some
50-or-so women.

191
00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:39,500
Surely I'd have
heard about it.

192
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,836
- We are not meant
to speak of it.

193
00:07:51,095 --> 00:07:53,473
- So but...

194
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,807
Does it hurt?

195
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:57,560
- Well, yes.

196
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,979
There are painful
contractions as the...

197
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:02,190
uterine lining sloughs off.

198
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,692
- Stop talking.
Why is she still talking?

199
00:08:04,775 --> 00:08:06,486
- Surely that's the
worst of it.

200
00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,278
- Sh!

201
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,447
[♪ bright Baroque music ♪]
- Most of the time,
I am perfectly capable

202
00:08:09,530 --> 00:08:11,032
of carrying on
with daily life.

203
00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:12,366
Although, sometimes
all I can do

204
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,035
is lie down and eat
chocolates.

205
00:08:14,118 --> 00:08:15,119
- Cho-co-lates...

206
00:08:15,203 --> 00:08:17,330
- Sometimes it gets
a bit messy, obviously.

207
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,706
- So you cannot hold it in?

208
00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:20,958
- No, it just sort of goes.

209
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,211
- Blood just gushes forth?

210
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:26,130
- Well, it doesn't
exactly gush, it um...

211
00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,009
Hunnnhh...

212
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:32,011
- Like...

213
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,095
diarrhea?

214
00:08:33,262 --> 00:08:35,181
- Except diarrhea
is unhealthy,

215
00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:36,849
and this is very healthy.

216
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:39,143
But period diarrhea
is a thing.

217
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,645
- God in heaven.

218
00:08:40,728 --> 00:08:42,647
- You should have stabbed her
when you had the chance.

219
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:43,606
- (MRS. BITTS) Sh!

220
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,983
- (ESSY) So the point of it
all is really for fertility.

221
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:47,360
You need the uterus
to be plump.

222
00:08:47,443 --> 00:08:48,486
The baby grows and then it

223
00:08:48,569 --> 00:08:49,487
comes out the cervix.

224
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:50,571
Very large.

225
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:51,822
And the head
and the shoulders

226
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:53,074
and the feet just go

227
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:56,244
and that is where
babies come from.

228
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,372
- Wow.

229
00:08:59,914 --> 00:09:03,668
- It is all rather...remarkable.

230
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,796
- So when will you be better?

231
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,714
- It lasts about six days.

232
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,299
- Oh.

233
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:11,801
Not long at all.

234
00:09:11,884 --> 00:09:13,177
- To be clear,
it happens every month.

235
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,637
- Bloody hell!

236
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,764
- But that's why
I wanted to tell you.

237
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:19,892
Because if I am to
marry y-  someone,

238
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:24,605
I would want
that person to know.

239
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:29,902
[chicken squawk]

240
00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:31,195
(ALL) Shh!!

241
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,584
I never intended to
cause you distress

242
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:53,092
and I shall understand
if this conversation

243
00:09:53,217 --> 00:09:54,885
will be our last.

244
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:58,097
- I am distressed.

245
00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:01,267
But only...

246
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,061
by the notion that
I would ever leave you.

247
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,897
[ ♪ sweet, tender music ♪ ]
I want to know.

248
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,150
I want to know
everything about you.

249
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,153
I want to see
your face every day.

250
00:10:12,236 --> 00:10:13,988
I want to hear your thoughts.

251
00:10:14,572 --> 00:10:15,865
I want to bring you

252
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:17,158
chocolates when you
are cramping.

253
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,954
I love you,

254
00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,706
Estrogenia.

255
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:29,045
Will you...
do me the honor...of...

256
00:10:29,128 --> 00:10:29,962
- Yes.

257
00:10:30,212 --> 00:10:32,006
- Yeah?
- Yes yes yes yes.

258
00:10:32,089 --> 00:10:33,716
[ ♪ romantic music swells ♪ ]

259
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:36,594
[door opens]
[cheering, clapping]

260
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:39,847
- (MRS. BITTS) Mr. and Mrs.
James Dickley!

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- (MAN) Hello?

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I'm Dr. Bangley.
I was told someone was dying.

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- It is I.

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I am dying.

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[ ♪ bright pop song ♪ ]

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♪ Slide up, slide up,
slide up boy ♪

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♪ imma take you higher ♪

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♪ Red wings fly you
round, round, round ♪

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♪ Better put a towel down,
down, down, down ♪

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♪ Slide up, slide up,
slide up boy ♪

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♪ imma, imma certify ya ♪

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♪ Red wings fly you
round, round, round... ♪

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- Oh, I told mamá
all about you.

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- Oh. And does
Lady Catamenia approve?

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- Oh yes.

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Though, I dare say
she was surprised

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when I told her
about your menstruations.

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- You did what?

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- Yes, and I asked
about hers.

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- You what?

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- I can't believe she hadn't
heard of period diarrhea.

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- God in heaven.

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♪ Slide up, slide up,
slide up boy ♪

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♪ imma take you higher ♪

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♪ Red wings fly you
round, round, round ♪

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♪ Better put a towel
down, down, down, down ♪

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♪ Boy, let me teach you
how to fly, love ♪

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♪ Cuz tonight we're going to
join the Mile High Club ♪

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♪ Red paint drippy, drippy
on your thigh, love ♪

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♪ Hurricanoes
on a bloody high, love ♪

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♪ Take off on a countdown.
We goin’ downtown ♪

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♪ Runway split, wave you in
for a touch down ♪

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♪ Smash landing
into the ground ♪

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♪ Yeah, if he a real one
he put a towel down, ♪

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♪ down, down ♪

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♪ Slide up, slide up,
slide up, boy ♪

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♪ imma take you higher ♪

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♪ Red wings fly you
round, round, round ♪

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00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,872
♪ Better put a towel down,
down, down, down ♪

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♪ Slide up, slide up,
slide up boy ♪

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♪ imma, imma certify ya ♪

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♪ Red wings fly you
round, round, round ♪

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♪ Better put a towel
down, down ♪